Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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