There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
