found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
