I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
sex in a hospital.. check
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
