Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
