I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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