It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
