dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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