i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
