Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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