Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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