I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
