Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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