so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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