What a fucking waste of an outfit
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Four minutes until I can fart!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
