My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
