remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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