Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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