i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am available for nakedness
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
