Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
