ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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