And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
