I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We had to coat check the pizza.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
