Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
