i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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