i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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