I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
