Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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