two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
