If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
