Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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