im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have already put on my inside pants.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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