Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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