Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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