I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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