jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize