Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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