Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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