Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize