About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
