can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize