Can Purell be used as lube?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
