Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize