This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
