why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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