OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
