I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
