marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
