from now on my penis is your penis
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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