life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
