CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize