Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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