I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
