i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well I can't set my house on fire every night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just high enough for therapy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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