Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
