I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
