Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
