He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
