Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My liver is preforming stress tests.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize