i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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