He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
