I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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