Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
